I’ve been a nurse in the medical profession for years and have come across many autistic children, but never in a million years did I think my first born son would one day be diagnosed with high functioning autism.

Elias was a baby that made eye contact, “talked” up a storm, and hit every developmental milestone he was supposed to reach by a year old. Life was great and I loved being a first time mom.

Suddenly around 15 months during a neighborhood playdate, I noticed that Elias wasn’t playing with the other kids. Instead he was playing alongside them in his own little world. He stopped responding to his name. He also stopped making eye contact with people outside of his intimate family.

I instantly became an investigator and performed my own tests at home. Could he hear? Why was this happening all of a sudden? I got a referral to an ENT specialist since he had numerous ear infections that year. He failed his hearing test and finally I thought I had the answers!

Elias had surgery to put tubes in his ears and had his adenoids removed. I had hope! We would get him caught up in his development by age two and my sweet little boy would return to normal. At least that’s what I believed.

Elias recovered from surgery, but instead of things improving now that he could hear, things became much worse. He couldn’t handle sounds anymore. He became upset when things didn’t happen in a certain sequence and organized everything based on category, color, and shape. The meltdowns, although normal for an almost two year old, were increasing in intensity and frequency. He continued to regress in his speech and interactions with others. In my heart of hearts, I knew Elias was showing the early signs of autism.

My speech therapist suggested I reach out to an early intervention toddler program for my county. The local early intervention toddler program came to my house and recommended I get him tested by the local school system. Sure enough two months before his third birthday, he got the official diagnosis of autism. Elias now qualified for three days a week of a special pre-K program for autistic children at our local elementary school.

With the official diagnosis came a flood of fears, lost dreams, new realities, but most of all relief that we had a diagnosis to work with and my suspicions were correct. A mother’s gut instinct is never wrong. 

Through it all, Elias has taught me unconditional love and acceptance. I have learned that the letter “A” not only stands for autism, but it also stands for amazing, astounding, and awesome! I remember growing up watching the movie Rain Man and knowing Dustin Hoffman’s character was a little odd, but never realized that he was on the spectrum. He had incredible talents and his memory with numbers was awe inspiring. Elias has this same incredible gift, however, his gift/knack is with letters. 

Since he turned a year old, Elias was always obsessed with Baby Einstein. At a friend’s house at the age of three, he took a letter set and independently spelled Baby Einstein. I looked around to see if he could see a DVD cover or if he saw how to spell it correctly. My friend and I were shocked and amazed! She had nothing in the house that would prompt him and he had spelled both words from memory!

Not once have I taught him how to write letters, spell words, or how to phonetically say letters/words. He’s picked it up all on his own, sometimes just after seeing something once. I have since learned that Elias has hyperlexia. Hyperlexia is when a child starts reading early and beyond their expected ability. It’s often accompanied by an obsessive interest in letters and numbers, which develops as an infant. Hyperlexia is often, but not always, part of the autism spectrum.

I’m amazed everyday at my captain cutie Elias. Although the autistic road is hard, unpredictable, and challenging, it can also be the most rewarding to travel. Elias has already taught me to abandon the label and be open to the unlimited possibilities one person can accomplish. 

I look forward to sharing this journey with you as I travel down the road of single motherhood with two adorable boys while working as a nurse. I’m sure it will be one exciting adventure of ups and downs!